No More Mister Nice Guy
I just came back from vacation and I’m about to plunge in on a Big New Project.
My first note to myself is:
START SAYING NO
I hereby vow to stop saying yes to things.
First, I’ll stop saying yes to things I want to do. My friend Jake, who has tickets to Springsteen? Pass. Sorry, pard.
I’ll go to Lou and Rachel’s wedding. I’ll be there for the festivities after. But I can’t stay out all night, and I won’t do anything that’ll leave me in no shape to work the next morning.
People are gonna get pissed off at me.
I’m sorry.
I’m like the Blues Brothers.
I’m on a mission.
Next I’ll start saying no to deserving invitations. Yeah, I could meet that Australian novelist coming into town, or do a favor for my friend Jeanie’s nephew. But if I say yes to them, I’m saying no to the thing that’s most important to me.
I know what it feels like, at the end of the day, when I’ve said yes to some bogus “opportunity” because I thought I ought to, or I didn’t want to offend someone, or because it seemed like what a Nice Guy would do.
I know what it feels like, at the end of the day, when I haven’t done my work—or slighted the Muse by doing it in some rushed or muddled manner.
I don’t want to feel like that.
I’m on a mission.
I have laid out a block of time, and in that time I have aims I want to achieve.
So things that I might have said yes to last month, I’ll say no to now.
The goal is to build a focus, to establish traction, to work not like an amateur but like a professional.
No more Mister Nice Guy.
DO THE WORK
Steve shows you the predictable Resistance points that every writer hits in a work-in-progress and then shows you how to deal with each one of these sticking points. This book shows you how to keep going with your work.
THE AUTHENTIC SWING
A short book about the writing of a first novel: for Steve, The Legend of Bagger Vance. Having failed with three earlier attempts at novels, here's how Steve finally succeeded.
NOBODY WANTS TO READ YOUR SH*T
Steve shares his "lessons learned" from the trenches of the five different writing careers—advertising, screenwriting, fiction, nonfiction, and self-help. This is tradecraft. An MFA in Writing in 197 pages.
TURNING PRO
Amateurs have amateur habits. Pros have pro habits. When we turn pro, we give up the comfortable life but we find our power. Steve answers the question, "How do we overcome Resistance?"
Well said, Steve, as always! I need a ‘start saying no’ note on the wall where I’ll see it every morning.
Happy New Year!
I don’t want to die withwords inside me and getting regret of using android
Nothing can describe us very accurately as you do so .well enjoyed on reading on android
My God! You are reading my mind! Thanks a lot! Happy new year!
Exactly!
Me, too!
Revisiting my verbal commitment 31 December 2025.
Merci!
Actually, you are still Mister Nice Guy, but to whom? To yourself? To your Muse? To your readers? Yeah, probably to all of those.
Agreed. Mr Pressfield is the nicest ‘no Mister Nice Guy’ I have ever e-met or met IRL.
bsn
This is GOLD Steve.
Hell yeah absolutely. Nice reminder and thanks for that.
Great advice Steven! And wishing you a happy and productive 2025…
It’s about saying YES to oneself and one’s purpose.
Thank you so much for making this post. You articulated exactly what I need to learn to do. I need to act like a professional if I want people to treat me like one. This means saying “No.” and doing my work.
Happy New Year!
great reply.
This post is amazingly in synch with what I recently told myself and even posted: “This year starts with “No! I come first!” 😁 same feelings as you, Sir!
Slop was a contender for Oxford dictionary’s 2024 word of the year. Slop is low quality writing generated with AI but I think we are all guilty of low quality work not produced by Al.
Oxford dictionary word of the year 2024 was brain rot. I think Slop consuming and creating leads to brain rot. All the things you mentioned are distractions. Parties dinners don’t produce the authentic heart to heart connections we seek.
No Me Nice Guy our authentic selves demand better.
Love
Safiya
Well said, Safiya! Our authentic selves do deserve our commitment!!
I enjoy Ted Gioia’s The Honest Broker on Substack. He writes about AI slop infecting our culture quite often. How I’d love to hear both Steven Pressfield and Ted Gioia get together for a nice chat about saving creativity. A hope for 2025?!
Happy New Year, creators!! Remember, your nagging little voice/passion/pursuit will never go away. You must keep working and fighting the good fight towards your true self—the little child inside trying to create in a world that boxes you in with ego, rules, and Resistance.
I resolve to use the word NO without guilt this year. I don’t want to die with my art and words inside me. Thank you , Steve. And to everyone here, let this be our year. This year let us share what we were given with the world.
I don’t want to die with my art and words inside me!!!!! (Exclamation points mine!)
Seconded. With additional exclamation points.
Some days it’s going to be a bitch, but vow with me to say NO!!! to the distractions and to DO THE WORK!
This!!! Happy New Year
Yes!
You share your experience at levels that so many others do not. Yet i will admit, i had to wonder….
“when will he let this chapter rest, and bring us Spain”.
‘No!’ is the command.
What a way to start the year
and lock it in!
Many thanks Steve.
Happy New Year Everyone!
YES to no!!!!
Yes to this!! No to Resistance (people pleasing and high agreeableness is procrastination for me so, yes, it is fear masquerading as a form of Resistance—note to self). Your insight and weekly kicks in the ass help me put my ass on the piano bench. Thank you for that, Gov!!
!!!!!!
Ah, dang it — _just_ when I was going to ask you for a favor!
To reference Lloyd Bridges in AIRPLANE, “I guess I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.”
Keep “noing” what to say Steve!
PS — Happy New Year!
Happy New Year, Steve🎉
What an image! The Blues Brothers channeling their inner 2-year-old! Let’s GO👍
I just cannot agree enough with Steve’s argument here. I’m in!!
But if Steve is making a contract that he will build focus and commitment, then God help the rest of us. Or at least me, at any rate. All I seem to do is say Yes to things like new hobbies and anything I hope will create a more fulfilling life. Nope, that’s it from now on!
Thank you Steve!
Peter
I hear you. I’m in the opposite world. I need to say yes to life.
Much-needed advice, for sure…BUT…I just asked for, and received, almost all of your creator-encouraging books for Christmas. And now I must say NO to curling up on the couch and reading them straight through. Sob!
Yes! to No!
Na mosca!
Estava me culpando nos últimos tempos, e-xa-ta-men-te por isso, Steve.
Suavemente ‘NO’.
Por causas importantes nas nossas vidas, poupar-nos o necessário, não pode ser ‘doloroso demais’ para quem se importa verdadeiramente conosco, não é? Esta é talvez uma das grandes formas de amar ao próximo.
Muito bom,
Obrigado
You sound like Neil Young, Steve. When asked in an interview about his hiring and firing of people he said something along the lines of ‘ Im faithful to the muse , to the music .. it’s been been good to me so’ . Having shared his tales of putting the music first, falling out with friends, fellow muso’s , family , doing what was needed for Art he said afterward ‘ recalling all this Im starting to not like myself very much ‘
Love it!
Happy new year everybody 🎊
IKR!!!
I can’t continue on this road of putting everything before my writing.
A new day.
A new year.
A new direction.
Move out of my way.
I’m in after 2024 of saying Yes to almost everything including quitting my job. My work faltered, lost motivation and learned the fine art of procrastinating with so many obligations. 2025 is the No Year and get back to focusing on being present and commitment to a healthier well balance life. Your Wednesday communication are such a kick in the butt to WAKE UP. Thank You!! Happy New Year!
I’m in after 2024 of saying Yes to almost everything including quitting my job. My work faltered, lost motivation and learned the fine art of procrastinating with so many obligations. 2025 is the No Year and get back to focusing on being present and commitment to a healthier well balance life. Your Wednesday communication are such a kick in the butt to WAKE UP. Thank You!! Happy New Year!
I would like to respond to your comments with a big “yes, “if that’s OK!
I hear echoes of Alice Cooper singing the line “No more Mr. Nice Guy!”
Thank you, Steve. Right on the money.
I’m aligned. Happy, prosperous, and healthy 2025, friends!
Perfect timing, Steve. “No” is a big word for me as well this year. Been a copywriter for 31 years and I’m in a position now to write for ME full time — but my boundaries are definitely being challenged by folks who want me to be a nice guy and keep writing for them. No more Mr. Nice Guy!
One of my wife’s favorite refrains to me is “nobody’s stopping you.” After a busy week at work I’ll look at possible weekend plans and say “But I need to write.” “Nobody’s stopping you,” she says, in the tone of “not me, not anyone else. YOU are responsible for making that happen. Do what you need to do.” Happy New Year Coach, and Writing Wednesday friends!
Sam, what a blessing you have in such a wise partner. Tell her I said thanks for the great insight.
The most insightful thought to me?
“ But if I say yes to them, I’m saying no to the thing that’s most important to me.”
There it is.
Thanks Steve.
I appreciate this reminder —
As someone said to me recently,
it is the things you say No to
that really show your commitment
to your growth
… not just the No, but the things themselves.
bravo everyone — onward!
Ride out for death and ruin and for the shake of humanity.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6XicBBN1l4
I happen to have only a chair, a laptop, a boring room and indifferent responsibilities. But that’s just the sensible cosmos. We have a global mission.
Thank you so much dear Steve.
Great New Year to you and all special people in the world.
Why is it our work for others (i.e. day job) is done professionally and then we often throttle down to amateur hour when it comes to working for ourselves? I find I’m constantly battling to carve out those few precious hours that are mine to use – for me alone. Let’s sharpen those swords guys and defend our arenas of time. It’s maybe the best strategic resource we have? Jan 1st is the perfect day to start. Thanks for the great reminder Steven.
Sean
I love the sentiment, but feel we are at different stages in our “careers.” I only put that in quotes because of me, not you. After years of not doing the work I am finally doing it. I have always said no things where I should have said yes. I think it’s time for me to say yes more in the new year – as long as I can still honestly say I am doing the work every day and can look myself in the mirror and say “I am a professional.” Maybe this is wrong, but I don’t have the network of people looking for my attention that you do. 😊
Yipes!!
Now I’m scared. Saying no is the exact opposite of what I learned in improv. Yet I get it. Saying no to all those other possibilities forces me to confront what feels like the desert of my writing reservoir. Uffda.
Killing it, dude!!!!!
Stretch, great sentiments. When I was just 13, my best friend‘s mother said, Jeoff the trouble with you is you never say no.
How did she know that? .
I haven’t improved much, but perhaps your words will inspire me.
As Irv said my first day at Ted Bates (when his secretary said I was “cute”)—“Yeah, but can his kind write?”
Those were the days!
Merry Christmas and May 25 to the happiest of New Years..
Go pro or stay home. Thanks.
Fantastic reminder on this New Year’s Day–to say no to everything that takes us off the path so we can say YES to what we’re here for. Thanks Steven.
Happy New Year, Steve.
Set your priorities for 2025
and stick to them. Simple. 🤪
Hack away at the unessential! The Professional’s life is simple, not easy. Give us what you got – didn’t you say? #worthit 2025 – what an amazing year 🤩.
Steven,
Is it possible that me saying “No”, actually hands a potential creative opportunity back to the very person asking for my Yes? I really do not want to be complicit in this clandestine agenda that resistance puts on us. The cunning is remarkable. No thank you.
Most of the time for me, my YES is nothing more than a failure of nerve.
Well said. Well read. Say Yes and you’re dead. If it’s not gonna be a No, might as well climb back in bed. So thankful that you keep keepin’ on Mr. P
Happy new year Steve!
Always so generous with your time. It means a lot.
Good for you. Protect your precious time.
A reminder for us all to protect ours too.
🙏❤️
Me, too, Steve. I’m canceling anything that will distract me from my one goal for the year. One goal only. I’ll have to lose weight next time. 🖖🏻
Excellent way to start 2025. The undertone of resistance is relentless so be intentional.
Liked this a great deal.
Cj Zionheart
Love this!
A big fat yes to the NO’s!!!
Thank you, Steven!
Thanks Steve – Saying no is essential to building discipline. It is a key component to having a backbone too! Keep it up sir.