Reinforcement and Self-Reinforcement
The sergeant waves you over and says, “Good job, Humperdinck. I’m putting you in for a promotion.” Or the head nurse calls you up before the meeting. “Jayne, explain to the group how the new system works.”
That’s reinforcement.
The problem for you and me is this kind of validation is dependent on others. It comes from our bosses or supervisors or coaches … and we don’t have bosses and supervisors and coaches.
The answer for us can only be self-reinforcement.
Can you come out of a meeting at Twentieth-century Fox and take a moment—in your car in the parking lot—to say to yourself,
“Good job, Janet. You looked great, you pitched your new show clearly and powerfully. Even though you might not have made a sale today, you did a tremendous job and gave it all you had. I’m taking you out to lunch to celebrate!”
Sounds dumb, I know. But this sort of practice is the difference between being an amateur and being a pro. It’s the difference between failure and success. It’s the difference between dropping out of the chase and hanging in for the long haul.
Steve shows you the predictable Resistance points that every writer hits in a work-in-progress and then shows you how to deal with each one of these sticking points. This book shows you how to keep going with your work.
A short book about the writing of a first novel: for Steve, The Legend of Bagger Vance. Having failed with three earlier attempts at novels, here's how Steve finally succeeded.
NOBODY WANTS TO READ YOUR SH*T
Steve shares his "lessons learned" from the trenches of the five different writing careers—advertising, screenwriting, fiction, nonfiction, and self-help. This is tradecraft. An MFA in Writing in 197 pages.
Amateurs have amateur habits. Pros have pro habits. When we turn pro, we give up the comfortable life but we find our power. Steve answers the question, "How do we overcome Resistance?"
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Egg 🥚zactly 💯
What a good idea. Positive, encouraging chat to myself rather than the negative voice I usually hear. Will give that a go today. Thank you!
I have another round of queries planned for August. This self talk will not be dumb but priceless. Thank you.
Thank you very much for this powerful reminder.
Never a truer words said 😆
By the way, if you are happy with me saying this, I’m doing a stand-up comedy show at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe all of August. It’s the world’s biggest arts festival and guess what? They have a great book festival too. Here’s a link to my show. It’d be great to see you there. https://www.thespaceuk.com/shows/2026/achtung-the-only-sauerkraut-in-town
Thank you, Steve, and everyone.
Best wishes,
Jürgen x
Working for myself as an artist leaves only me as the one to provide reinforcement and acknowledgement of effort. Your posts reminds me to stop for a moment and treat myself like I have reinforced co-workers and people I managed. Thank you for the flipped script and way to provide reinforcement for ourselves. Not dumb!
Heard!
Timely reminder, thank you!
We have to be brutally honest with ourselves about our work, but that includes patting ourselves on the butt when we do a good job.
Also, on the rare occasion that we do get some positive outside validation, its a huge boost.
I agree, that type of self reinforcement is a “must do.” It’s what champions do. It’s critical to keeping a positive momentum when everything else is dragging you down.
When I first started working after I got out of school, I was immersed in Brian Tracy’s and Zig Ziegler’s materials which emphasize positive self talk. It made all the difference for me and changed my life. I wonder if these techniques have fallen by the wayside.
On another note . . . Steve, how are things coming with the house reconstruction after the fire? We need an update!
Also, any comments about the Odyssey film that just came out? For years, I’ve been reading Homer’s prayer to the Muse before I begin my writing work as you suggested. I’m sure I can’t be the only one wondering if you saw the film.
Chuck, Odysseus Spoiler Alert… There are Greek Soldiers inside the wooden horse.
As I read this, I am confronted with my own negative self-talk. I think it is Pride. I capitalize it because Pride deserves the same wariness and recognition Resistance plays–or more accurately, Pride is one of Resistance’s most effective tools with me.
The negative self talk is an exit. An excuse. An explanation of failure before an enterprise is even started. It keeps me in my place…
I have listened to Brian Tracy, Zig Ziegler, and others with similar recognitions of self talk–I think in the clinical world this may also be referred to as Cognitive Behavioral Theory–but there is something, at least in me, that I have found to be even more sinister.
I’ve always been a pretty quick study. I can ‘learn’ things quickly to become ‘good enough’–but a Pride-fueled mistake I have made over and over and over and over again–Wisdom is embodied. It doesn’t matter if I know ‘how to do it’ cognitively if I do not put said knowledge into practice.
It is in the humble daily, hourly, often minute by minute, recognition of my tendencies to self-destruct/avoid/hide and put into practice simple habits of thought/behavior that are millennia old.
Thank you for the reminder.
bsn
Love it. Thank you.
I didn’t even realize I practice this. Even on writing days where the words just are not coming I’ll say. “You still made it above zero and that’s a victory. Do better tomorrow.”
In our house we call it celebrating the reaching. It’s also a good reminder the actual reward is IN the work 💖
I recently attended a Chicago Writers’ workshop and scheduled pitch sessions with three agents, with no real intention to sign with an agent but, instead to learn more about the various publishing routes to decide what I want to do with my current manuscript. I self-publishe my first book and it was moderately successful. Two of the agents req3ueesterf pages from my manuscript, but I had just decided I do not have the patience for a one to two-year timeline., which most traditional publishers offer. Still, I felt good about myself – I learned how to pitch and talk about my book. Since then, I was introduced to a university press by one of the professors who endorsed my first historical novel, so I am going the traditional router, bvut with a university press. The moral to my story is to set goals – what you want to accomplish, and success may not always be what’s obvious. Steve, I read and re-read your Daily Writing with Pressfield book, and I journaled. It became my Bible, so I thank you.
Thank you very much dear Steve.
Isn’t it beautiful to not have bosses? Life works hierarchically, but personal freedom and happiness don’t. Bosses are external and never in perfect alignment with us, well almost never I guess.
It’s just that we’re not there yet, there where we can be free without a great cost. Most of us.
It doesn’t matter if freedom for someone would be to spend years travelling exploring the world or set goals like how to make the world a better place. What matters is that there are great obstacles and also very complex paths. I have been devestated by the complexity of two such paths that led me not where i was heading with passion, but entirely elsewhere – in really dark places.
I have faith that in the future there may come the day when we are all free. It can be a world where the machines, like in Matrix, do all the hard work and we only need what is true in our hearts and in the virtues of humanity/nature. Unfortunately or fortunately, no prayers or hopes can lead to that – only the machines. They are so damn tangible. I stand in awe now in front of AI. That damn thing can even give us this reinforcement we need, in doses as much as we can handle. And it’s just sort of beginning.
Leaving AI’s aside, yes we must find that coach inside us.
Every action, or stimulus, causes reactions inside us. They are complex, the machinery of defense and chance for win all work underground and they cause the central unit, the will, to do something – fight, flight, be crazy, be idle, do something else, be blurred, feel bad, sweat etc.
We need that inner coach to help us find the way.
I hope I am moving towards that. Strangely, after some time we can’t see what we do, because what we do is our normal and we can’t judge normality objectively, but rather we see fluctuations: we can understand and see something in compare to something else that is perhaps of the same feathers but of different levels.
My coach is a crazy *&%£ who has neglected grounded reality but has flow and a bit aggressive exploration power. He’s a man although sensitive when he has to. Hope he is doing well.
My love to you, Diana, our friends, the team.
I’m writing.
Great post. Thank you.
I’m actually using my last book as a coaster because it flopped. It’s next to my bed so I can look at it every night and first thing in the morning. I don’t think I realized exactly how much I was punishing myself until I read this. I’m going to reframe my feelings of shame and failure and stick the book on a shelf with the ones that were better received.
Thank you!
Great to do that!