Resistance Comes Second

One of the key aspects of Resistance (self-doubt, fear, procrastination, perfectionism, self-sabotage) is that it never arises alone.

That negative voice in our head only comes in response to (and reaction against) a DREAM, i.e. the book we want to write, the film we dream of making, the business we want to start.

Resistance comes second.

The Dream comes first.

Resistance’s aim is to stop our dream, to get us to quit, to keep us from becoming the artist or person we were born to be.

Here’s the visual I use to help me see this:

Imagine a tree in the middle of a sunny meadow.

The instant the tree appears, its shadow appears with it.

The tree is our dream.

The shadow is Resistance.

If there were no tree, there would be no shadow.

How does it help us to understand this? Because when we see that shadow, i.e. when we hear the voice of Resistance in our heads—telling us we’re not good enough, we’ll never be able to succeed in actualizing our dream, etc.—we can be certain that THERE’S A TREE THERE.

In other words, our DREAM.

If we’re experiencing Resistance, that’s a good sign. Painful as it may be … and as formidable an opponent as it is … we can take courage from its appearance.

If there were no tree, there would be no shadow.

If there were no dream, there would be no Resistance.

DO THE WORK

Steve shows you the predictable Resistance points that every writer hits in a work-in-progress and then shows you how to deal with each one of these sticking points. This book shows you how to keep going with your work.

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THE AUTHENTIC SWING

A short book about the writing of a first novel: for Steve, The Legend of Bagger Vance. Having failed with three earlier attempts at novels, here's how Steve finally succeeded.

The-Authentic-Swing

NOBODY WANTS TO READ YOUR SH*T

Steve shares his "lessons learned" from the trenches of the five different writing careers—advertising, screenwriting, fiction, nonfiction, and self-help. This is tradecraft. An MFA in Writing in 197 pages.

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TURNING PRO

Amateurs have amateur habits. Pros have pro habits. When we turn pro, we give up the comfortable life but we find our power. Steve answers the question, "How do we overcome Resistance?"

Turning-Pro

30 Comments

  1. Clarence ford on November 20, 2024 at 1:46 am

    It seems that our success is dependent upon our relationship with Resistance. Since we will never overcome it, we must simply perform our tasks in spite of it everyday. There’s no getting around it, or tactical hack that can overcome Resistance!

  2. Peter Brockwell on November 20, 2024 at 2:06 am

    It’s amazing how easy it is to forget these lessons from Steve, that he has kindly approached from so many different directions. I very much need right now to remember Resistance’s tricks. Present manifestations: (1) You have so much work on right now, and the mortgage won’t pay itself! (2) You are so tired, and deserve downtime. (3) Look at this other shiny thing that is so much fun and so compelling!

    Thanks Steve.
    Peter

    • Maureen Anderson on November 20, 2024 at 8:00 am

      You hit on something important, Peter. The nature of learning!

      You keep getting the same message over and over from slightly different (or wildly different) perspectives. Then one day it clicks, and you’re never the same. Even this morning I was tempted to think, “I know all this. I just saw Steve’s Instagram post on the same subject.” Instead I thought, “Really? Do you really know it? Because had you taken it more to heart would you really be so afraid of that shadow?”

      • Brian Nelson on November 20, 2024 at 8:04 pm

        Peter/Maureen,
        Well said. I have been thinking about (at least for me) the difference between knowing in my head (knowledge) and the knowing by doing. It is not real for me until I walk it out in the real world, but as a relatively cerebral kid/turned into adult/turned into middle ager with a pension–that spending a lot of time in my head has been a strength for me–but also an achilles heal.

        It has kept me from the essential ‘beginners mind’ requisite for true learning. I’ll have kinda talked myself out of doing something because ‘I already know it…’–but I don’t know it TRULY, because knowing it means acting it out in the real world. It must be embodied. Wisdom is embodied, not understood.

        Something else, at least for me again, is that ‘the nature of learning’, or what ‘learning feels like’ is frustration. It is decidedly unpleasant. Maybe–maybe when I am doing the right thing at the right time–not burying my talents (love this Biblical parable) (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+25%3A14-30&version=ESV)..then the unpleasantness actually becomes its own reward in a truly counter-intuitive way. Like how it feels to be back in the gym after a hiatus.

        Haven’t posted in a while, got busy with our race and then started back to school to learn how to build a house! Super cool–and SUPER FRUSTRATING–so I’m in the right place. I wish you both well.
        bsn

        • Maureen Anderson on November 21, 2024 at 9:17 am

          Don’t remember that story from the Bible, Brian. It’s a good one!

          Keep us posted on the house!

  3. Jackie on November 20, 2024 at 2:46 am

    Brilliant. I’d rather have the tree with its shadow than a barren field. I recently came across a motto, who dares wins. Can’t recall exactly, but I think it’s British special forces. I wish everyone a daring week.

    • Brian Nelson on November 20, 2024 at 8:13 pm

      I love it Jackie. If I followed another life adventure, I could see myself being an experimental psychologist–I think it would be interesting to find (if possible) what are the ingredients of courage–are there constituents components (I think there are) like courage, grit, resilience…that can be trained separately to increase courage. There has been an absolute dearth of courage of late. CS Lewis summed it up pretty well in the Screwtape Letters, “Courage is not simply one of the virtues but the form of every virtue at the testing point, which means at the point of highest reality. ”

      He who dares wins. I love it!
      bsn

  4. Michael F. Brandmeier on November 20, 2024 at 2:59 am

    Thanks, Steven. This came at the perfect time, as I’ve been sitting here in the wee hours, thinking this book I’ve been working on forever will never come together. I see the tree. Thanks again. Peace, Michael.

  5. Gregory on November 20, 2024 at 3:00 am

    Love the tree metaphor, Steven. Hate the fact that the more I research the more the tree grows the more the shadow/Resistance grows…

  6. Tolis on November 20, 2024 at 3:22 am

    Thank you dear Steve.

    I’m following Peter’s example -thank you Peter.

    So these are my Present Manifestations of Resistance: (1) there is zero motivational energy towards working on the book, although there is only one more mid piece of action and thought and it’ll be all in place, (2) I am tired because I managed these weeks to do something I like too much, but it devours my night time sleep and I can’t control it and (3) from loosing sleep I lose ballances, which creates a vicious circle that is almost totally invisible but as destructive as it is invisible

    These 3. Nothing else. The annoying all-knowing-sprite inside me whispers what I must do.

    *Why, why do you whisper little goblin? Why don’t you shout out on me every sec, every hour this crucial thing? Why do you stop me, with your minimal whispers, from going to the Elysian Fields instead or rotting in this indifferent, matterless Hades?*

    • Peter Brockwell on November 20, 2024 at 9:15 am

      That damned goblin!!! Indeed, well said Tolis.

  7. Anonymous on November 20, 2024 at 3:49 am

    Thank you

  8. Brad on November 20, 2024 at 4:03 am

    Wonderful message today. Viewing Resistance in a positive light is powerful.

    Thank you.

    • Vinny Auriemma on November 20, 2024 at 9:50 am

      I’m battling resistance and age to complete
      My 20 yrs of procrastination !!
      Telling my fathers story of pow in stalag 12
      To my three sons 11 yrs later

  9. Ruth Bonapace on November 20, 2024 at 4:35 am

    This comes at a perfect time. It’s like you’re reading my mind. (And true for many others I am sure) Now if I could break through Resistance, banish the thoughts that feed the Resistance. Knowing you know it is there and giving it a name helps. It is fear: fear of failure, of wasting time with something that might not be “good enough,” of making wrong choices for characters, plot, subject, voice etc. The tree image is a very tangible reminder.

  10. Mike Hegedus on November 20, 2024 at 5:52 am

    Shadow boxing . . . with my tree.

  11. Scott Mitchell on November 20, 2024 at 6:13 am

    Duality seems to be a feature of the universe — matter, anti-matter, good vs. evil, etc. Steven, you uncovered another core duality by matching up Creative Dream vs. Resistance. And you took it a step further by observing our reaction to Resistance: We can view it as an overpowering negative force that will crush our dream, or as definitive proof that our Dream is alive and well, and fighting to manifest itself. Great thought to start the day with!

  12. Constance on November 20, 2024 at 6:20 am

    Great Metaphor of the Tree and Shadow. Once one gets out of monkey mind games, and just “do”, the activity, the “doing” laughs in the face of perfectionism, stalling, and thinking. Nike didn’t realize how great the motto JUST DO IT is. Everything in our culture today is geared to keep us addicted to mindless distractions. The cell phone, social media and such keeps our attention away from what is truly important to each one of us:That being our divine purpose.
    Turn off the phone and get to it.
    CDW

    • Brian Nelson on November 20, 2024 at 8:16 pm

      Well said Constance. Huxley was more accurate in his dystopian predictions than Orwell. We have titillated, pleasured, and comforted ourselves into fugue states of numbness and distraction.
      bsn

  13. Michael J. Lotus on November 20, 2024 at 6:59 am

    This is helpful.
    Here is a thought and some questions for a future post.
    What is the best mindset where the resistance is less a matter of psychological obstacles, but objective ones? The day job is hard, and stressful, and tiring; the time available to write is in packets here and there and the energy and will are limited? What do we do to make the best use of the time and energy we do have, to keep moving the project forward even when objective factors are pushing back hard?

  14. Jonathan Berman on November 20, 2024 at 7:47 am

    I recall in one of Steve’s books or blogs (to what degree this memory is accurate, I am unsure) he said something to the effect that things call their opposite into being. Not sure if this was something from The Kybalion.

    I’ve always framed this duality as the terminal points on a back-and-forth continuum: boiling-freezing, the color spectrum of white-black, the emotional nuances and degrees on Robert McKee’s journey to the Negation of the Negation, etc. A thing can’t exist without its opposite.

    In any event, that has stuck with me for many years. I now have a clearer motivational explication of that concept that I will now carry forth. Thank you.

    As with Tolis, I’d like to echo Peter – It is SO helpful to have these lessons approached from different angles over time. Thank you again.

  15. Dalit Berkowitz on November 20, 2024 at 8:03 am

    Powerful! I love the simplicity of the image. It really helps drive the point home. It’s so easy to see the shadows as taunting monsters. I’d much rather view them as inevitable indicators of profound promise. Thanks for the reframe, Steve!

  16. Marvin on November 20, 2024 at 8:50 am

    That is superb!
    But I need support.
    It ain’t easy!

  17. Jim King on November 20, 2024 at 10:04 am

    Resistance is a genius of establishing a pre-try, dream, wall.

  18. Bonnie Lucille Damron on November 20, 2024 at 2:18 pm

    Thank you, Steve, for reminding me of the tree archetype with its shadow. Even the Tree of Life has a shadow…Blessings always.

  19. Chuck DeBettignies on November 20, 2024 at 3:14 pm

    I love the idea that the shadow points to/proves the existence of the tree. Our dream can be obscured by the mire, confusion, persistence of Resistance. We can lose touch with the dream from the unrelenting drone of Resistance.
    Maybe next time I notice my Resistance, it will remind me to look for the tree!

  20. Joan DiStefano on November 20, 2024 at 7:12 pm

    Perfect! I just read this while on the 15 min. break at a Sut Down Write group I am part of n Oakland CA this evening.

  21. Dave Seidel on November 21, 2024 at 6:09 am

    I was plagued by the viceral voices that would run persistently in my background…the critic. I was asked if I could turn in to adress the voices (however that looks) and thank them for trying to protect me, very counterintuitive. This voice has grown to be very quiet. I hear from the voice now and again and it is more like a visit from a loud neighbor.

  22. Abaya on November 26, 2024 at 12:03 am

    This is such a powerful insight! It’s so easy to get caught up in the negative self-talk and resistance, but realizing that it only appears in response to our dreams is eye-opening. It’s a reminder that the very presence of resistance is actually a sign we’re on the right path, moving towards something meaningful. Acknowledging that our dreams come first, and the resistance is just a reaction, helps shift our mindset. It encourages us to push through those moments of doubt and keep moving toward what we truly want to create. Thank you for sharing this perspective!

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